The malls are a madhouse, you’d have to take a bus from the closest parking spot to the swarming shopper-stormed entrances and, once inside, you’d find the shelves picked clean as your Thanksgiving turkey.

Relax, friends — GUNS has got you covered. Pull up a comfy chair, scribble a list of friends and family, and start selecting from a line-up of guaranteed good-to-go gifts. Listen, we won’t tell anyone that you’re really doing a recon for gift ideas for yourself, too. In fact, there’s no better justification for a gift for yourself than buying the same thing for a pal or family member. It just takes technique, especially on the “spendier stuff.” Here’s one method:

Circle the Steiner binoculars and mark ’em for your father-in-law. Say to your Significant Sweetie, “Sure, they’re not cheap, but I know I’d love to have a pair.” Talk about how a gift like this really shows how much you respect and value dear ol’ dad, and — at this critical moment, give it your best little-kid-lost face and semi-whisper, “Maybe he’ll let me borrow ’em sometime ...”

This might work with your other half. Mine would arch a raven eyebrow, flash me an electric-blue eye, and telepathically transmit the mental message, “I read you like a bar-code, Connor ... We’ll see, we’ll see ...”

Prices vary wildly sometimes, so shop strategically and check ’em out yourself, OK? Watch for seasonal and Christmas specials and discount-deals, especially if you’re buying from the Internet, direct from the manufacturers or big distributors. You could even solve that “one for me, too” problem with a “two-fer” offer! Keep an eye out for free shipping too — with guaranteed deliveries before Christmas, potentially saving both a bundle of bucks and a case of Sad Santa Syndrome.

Here and there you’ll find a “CC,” marking my own favorites and best recommendations. I call it “Connor’s Choice.” Yeah, you can call it the “Caveman’s Choice” or “Cretin’s Choice,” but don’t count on getting a nice pair of Swamp Slippers from me, pal.

Got your “naughty or nice list” ready? OK, let’s go shoppin’, shooters!

You’d better pluck out the plastic and hold your heart before trippin’ through MTM Case-Gard’s garden of goodies, because you could do all of your shopping at the Web site. Their Shoulder-Gard rifle rest uses a unique buttstock leash to radically reduce recoil during those long days at the range — or shorter sessions with hard-hitting big-bore boomers. The handy little “Jammit” field table goes anywhere, holds just about anything, including perhaps “refreshing beverages,” and those virtually indestructible Sportsmen’s Plus Utility Dry Boxes — “SPUDs” — are about the most versatile storage containers around.

CC: At 18.25"x13"x15.25", the SPUD-7 is not only a great hold-and-carry locker, but it’s also the perfect height to sit on while using MTM’s folding ambidextrous Predator shooting table. You’ve already got one of those, right? Great choice!

MTM Case-Gard
MTM Molded Products Company
3370 Obco Court, Dayton, Ohio 45414
(937) 890-7461,
www.mtmcase-gard.com

“I was only gonna buy one gift!” You hear that a lot from customers of Lansky Sharpeners. If it’s got a dull edge, Lansky’s got a cure, from their Universal Sharpening System to the shirt-pocket “Quick Fix.” Even a dual-grit “Puck” for machetes, hatchets, axes and more. Restrain yourself — but not too much.

CC: The Quick Fix is 2"x2" 1/2" and feather-light, with a carbide slot for sharpening and “crock stick” slot for edge finishing — a great bargain.

Lansky Sharpeners
P.O. Box 800, Buffalo, NY 14321
(716) 877-7511,
www.lansky.com

With Katz Knives’ new Adventure Series, there’s a knife for every nephew and niece, and a blade for every brother. There are six design series in the line, all offering your choice of cherrywood, green micarta or genuine stag handles. You’ll see the same kind of quality found in the respected Lion King skinners at surprisingly affordable prices — with truly premium leather sheaths.

Katz Knives
P.O. Box 730, Chandler, AZ 85224
(800) 848-7084,
www.katzknives.com

The super-light ultra-compact JETBOIL cooking system boils a liter of water faster, consuming less fuel, than any other commercial burner. It operates efficiently from below sea level to over 20,000', and all the components — including fuel canisters — stow neatly inside the cooking vessels. No more chilly coffee or clammy chow in the duck blind, pole-boat, or even up in your tree stand! The Personal Cooking System and a “Companion Cup” provides hot food and drink for one or two. There’s even a coffee press for anytime-you-want-it java, and the Group Cooking System can fill up a foursome. Campsite cookin’ was never so easy! Go to the Web site to learn how you can heat, eat and drink from the same insulated container.

CC: The whole lineup! A PCS, a GCS, a Companion Cup and Java Kit gives you fresh-brewed coffee, soup or stew, and four big bratwurst simmered in beer. This is the finest little “field kitchen” I’ve ever used.

Jetboil
P.O. Box 173, 529 Sunapee Street
Guild, NH 03754
(603) 863-7700,
www.jetboil.com

It seems like polymer chemist Jeff Kruse at Just Shoot Me Products had GUNS readers in mind when he invented the ART — “All ‘Round Target.” His finned 6" ball can be shot with any pistol or rifle caliber from .17 to .50 BMG, including 12-gauge buckshot and rifled slug and then the fun begins. The ART is a violently reactive target which spins, rolls, skips and flies up to 8' in the air when hit. You can chase it across the desert or bounce it ’round a sandpit until your barrel warps, and other than a few dings and discolorations, she’ll be good as new — a lasting investment. The ART gives the question, “Wanna play ball?” a whole new meaning. See lots of brilliant bouncing targets at www.justshootmeproducts.com — and don’t worry, Tommy TenThumbs — you can put it in a square box before wrapping it.

CC: I just got my own ART and can’t wait to hammer it. My reactive Sniper Training Cube from Just Shoot Me has absorbed over 20,000 rounds of 5.56mm, 7.62mm and .50 BMG and she still dances, bucks and boogies every time the music plays. Note: Do not let your dog see the ART! This could lead to some humorous but frustrating — or tragic — scenarios.

Just Shoot Me Products
P.O. Box 50, 20 West Howard Street
Arcadia, IN 46030
(317) 984-5597
www.justshootmeproducts.com

Give a mosquito-mangled huntin’ buddy a personal ThermaCELL unit, and he’ll say, “Thanks” at Christmas. Come spring, his tune will change to, “Pitch your tent for you, pal? Let me fix the fire, friend!” The lightweight, butane-fueled clip-on device gently warms a small mat treated with bug repellent to create a 15' diameter comfort zone for up to 12 hours. Sporting and military users from Kosovo to Kenya have praised it — now it’s your turn. Yeah, you can even get the case in RealTree camo to match your shirt, socks, undershorts — and your truck. Try ThermaSCENT too, for efficient dispersal of game-attracting scents and human odor-masking agents.

CC: Get the ThermaCELL Lantern too, for camp, cabin porch and patio. Unlike those stupid bug-bait candles, it won’t blow out with a breeze.

ThermaCELL
The Schawbel Corp.
100 Crosby Drive, Suite 100
Bedford, MA 01730
(866) 753-3837
www.thermacell.net

You’ll wish your truck was built this tough, and closed up this tight. The global military cargo gear-heads at Hardigg build sporting Storm Cases with the same care as their Pentagon-purchased models, and the iM3300 is no exception. Airtight, watertight and lockable, room abounds inside for two long guns plus ammo, optics and accessories. At the iM3300’s feet are sturdy wheels, at its head a comfortable folding handle to match the one at the center of its length, and its heart is a self-regulating Vortex Auto-Pressure Release Valve. Solid foam inserts can be custom-cut by the lucky owner, and gun-specific pre-cut linings are available. The bad news? The guarantee is only for one lifetime. What if you need more? For fun, check out the exotic military models on the Web.

Hardigg Industries
147 North Main Street
South Deerfield, MA 01373
(800) 542-7344,
www.stormcase.com

For the friend who never has a light when he needs one — and keeps borrowing yours —Photon’s Freedom FUSION is the perfect pick. It would take six photos to show you all of its magic-morphing qualities — you can check them out on the Web — but just consider it shape-shifts from flashlight to free-standing table lamp to clip-light to headlamp and you’ve got the basic idea. One button controls six primary and two secondary LEDs, brightness levels, variable-rate strobes and SOS modes — and those aren’t even on the “expert user” menu! The FUSION is sort of a multi-tool of lights, and does all of its jobs well.

LRI Photon
P.O. Box 58, 20448 Highway 36
Blachly, OR 97412
(541) 925-3741,
www.photonlight.com

Admit it — You’ve wanted a pair of Steiner Military / Marine binoculars since you were a lean Lance Corporal, and your dad has waited even longer. These battle-bred optics aren’t just nitrogen-purged, but nitrogen over-pressured to survive storm and sturm in any climate, every condition. From light resolution to drop-tested durability, Steiner is simply superior.

CC: If your typical targets are across the bay or a big valley, go for the 10x50s. For everything else, get the 7x50 Military R with M-22 reticle. Learn to use the mil scale, team it with the right riflescope reticle, and your skill-set cross-decks from combat to the cornfields.

Steiner Binoculars
Pioneer Research, 97 Foster Rd.
Suite 5
Moorestown, NJ 08057
(800) 257-7742,
www.pioneer-research.com

Modern and anachronistic at the same time, the Harp tool from Spyderco’s Byrd product line rotates eight easy-to-use tools out from its harp-shaped steel frame, and folds flat into a neat little carrying case. A gimlet, punch/awl, saw, file, corkscrew, slotted and Phillips-head screwdrivers join a small and large-head hammer — one even doubles as a bottle opener — in a conversation-starting, project-finishing mini-toolbox. The design seems to be out of the 1800s and the tools look like they should be unstable, but this unusual little device is surprisingly precise and solid in use. Keep it close, and you’ll use it a lot.

Spyderco Knives
820 Spyderco Way, Golden,
CO 80403
(800) 525-7770
www.spyderco.com

Just skim through the catalog from Black Hills Ammunition and you’ll understand why they have exclusive contracts to provide match-grade ammo to all four military services. Black Hills began with founder Jeff Hoffman hand-rolling his personal sheriff’s office duty-ammo and nit-picking every component in the process. That zealous attention to detail still exists today — every round is individually inspected before it leaves the barn — and you reap the benefits: Precision, performance, and reliability. GUNS readers will also recognize some of the unsavory characters giving testimonials to Black Hills — folks like Mike “Duke” Venturino, John Taffin, Jacob Gottfredson and Clint Smith. Give your buddy who buys Bangladeshi surplus bullets a break this Christmas with a gift of Black Hills Gold.

CC: Given a 1:7" twist in a sound 5.56mm AR, the accuracy of Black Hills’ 77-grain Sierra MatchKing is nothing short of spooky. Ditto that performance for the 168-grain Match Hollowpoint in .308 Winchester. Find your own favorites, and stockpile.

Black Hills Ammunition
P.O. Box 3090, Rapid City, SD 57709
(605) 348-5150,
www.black-hills.com

OK, the snow is shoulder-high to a sasquatch, and even the dump is too deep frozen for smallbore battles with the rats. Hey, none of this “Oh, woe is me business!” Gamo airguns and BSA scopes not only put the fun back in the backyard, but with Gamo’s pellet-trap targets they can put a ton of fun into a basement or a long hallway too. Gamo gave up kiddie-toy airguns a long time ago and now they’re all about adult high-powered low-noise, powder-free precision plinkin’ — and real hunting. We’re talkin’ about clean kills on small game at over 65 yards, folks. Of course, you’ll need a precision scope to get the most out of a supersonic pellet rifle, and that’s where BSA comes in, with a long line of amazingly full-featured yet competitively-priced optics.

CC: Easy! The Gamo Hunter Extreme is the world’s fastest spring airgun, crankin’ 1,600 fps with lead-free Raptor alloy ammo — 1,250 fps with lead. Top it with a truly waterproof BSA Panther 3-10x40 scope, and you’ll be having more fun than you ought to without poppin’ a primer. Hey, it feels good to cover 5-shot groups with a dime!

GAMO Airguns
1475 S. Sam Houston Blvd
Houston, MO 65483
(954) 581-5822,
www.gamousa.com

“Cutters with class” or “gift knives with guts,” whatever. Never give a folder that’s gonna stay folded, like, put away in a deep desk drawer. Strength and sophistication come together in SOG’s Spec Elite II; a hand-filling horse of a knife with great looks and the strong, smooth Arc-Lock action. The Ocelot from Spyderco artfully combines a drop-point nose with a deep-bellied VG-10 blade, and those precision-machined “pugs” in the G-10 scales look really cool, too. Al Mar’s slim, smooth hand-finished Eagle Ultralight lives up to its name, and the lines are tuxedo-elegant while the blade is saber-sharp and tough. The Eagle will make a collector out of you.

Spyderco Knives
820 Spyderco Way, Golden,
CO 80403
(800) 525-7770
www.spyderco.com

It looks like a toy, and works like a champ! The SACS Small Arms Cleaning System is your best chance to get someone else to clean your guns for you. Using CO2 cartridges for power, SACS first fires a specialized synthetic scrubbing wad down your bore like a peashooter, followed by an oiling and final-cleaning pellet. The combination of techie-tricky technique and the neat ploop! sound attracts teenager attention — and it works better than you’d ever expect. The SACS has found a home in high-volume gun cleaning operations nationwide and makes new converts daily. Adaptors and wads are available for almost any caliber.

CC: Just get a Starter Kit and lotsa wads in the caliber of your most-shot, foulest firearm, then decide — and order more.

SACS Small Arms Cleaning System
Lanigan Performance Products
10320 Riverburn Dr., Tampa, FL 33647
(888) 292-0006
www.cleenboreusa.com

You’ve gotta really like the lucky lad you’d give a Leupold RX Digital Laser Rangefinder. Check out the spec’s and interactive demo at their Web site, and compare the RX’s capabilities to other rangefinders you’ve played with in the past. It may not be able to calculate your taxes, but to call it a “smart” rangefinder is like saying Einstein was a fairly bright dude. How fast can you figure out a 400-yard line-of-sight shot up a 40-degree incline yields a horizontal equivalent range of 335 yards? Then, based on your ballistics, calculate holdover / holdunder or MOA adjustment to your zero setting? Stop now, or you’ll burn up the beads in your abacus — the RX already beat you. A magnetic induction compass with declination adjustment, compass tilt compensation, long-range and rain modes, and first-and-last target functions are some of the fantastic features. Yeah, it’s rocket science, but it’s “rocket science made easy.”

CC: All four RX models are winners, but the waterproof, extended-range, two-year guaranteed top-of-the-line RX IV gives superior bang for the bucks. Get a topo map and compass, pace counter beads, 100 yards of orange twine knotted every 10 yards, an RX IV, and head on out! Match your Mark II Eyeballs to your rangefinder, footfalls and line, and you’ll get range-savvy real quick — and it’ll stick.

Are we finished here? I want to get in more playtime with some of this gear before I have to send it back! And, I’ve got a Christmas Wish List to fill up ... Happy hunting! Connor OUT.

Leupold & Stevens, Inc.
P.O. Box 688, Beaverton, OR 97075
(503) 526-1400,
www.leupold.com

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